It’s a gloomy a Saturday, and I am debating whether or not it would rain today. Maybe—
And since I have nothing else to do, I felt like I wanted to write something that’s non-work related. So I figured, what message could I have given to my old vulnerable self?
I mean we’ve all been there— the roller coaster of life, indecisive choices, crazy love, and carefree life. But these are the reckless choices that made us who we are today. Some of us have grown stronger, while some of us are still living in regret.
I am caught in the middle of all that— trying to grow stronger with a little regret.
But I realized that it’s okay.
It’s okay to regret things, what’s not okay is to stop living your life again. Remember, it’s not just you, I had it, she had it, they all had it too. Only on different occasions, for various reasons and but it’s the same pain you’re feeling.
So if I were to send a letter to my old vulnerable self, I would tell her…
Find Your Focus
We sometimes lose the sense of focus when we are bombarded with so many things—Peer and family pressure.
Your family expecting only the best for you. Friends excelling more than you do.
But instead of feeling all insecure about it and telling yourself that you’re not enough, why not get out of the shadows, find your focus and set your attention to it.
We must have our focus, and we learn to find our attention on things that matter. Our friends can excel in school, in love, in the family— and it’s okay we don’t get to that point yet, the important thing is you’re trying.
One of the regrets I had back then is that I haven’t been wise with life; in choosing my career, in choosing the people I should allow taking hold of me, in choosing the best decisions.
My old vulnerable self, you are an innocent little girl just doing her way with the company of people you thought are right for you— but they’re actually not.
It’s when you’re at the point of your life that you’re able to meet people who actually can make more sense, hat you realized what you have been missing all your life.
So my advice to old vulnerable self…
Be wiser, not everyone is a friend.
Learn to read between the lines, some of them are lies.
Allow yourself to be free of being incapable. You have a lot in you, stop people from pulling you away from what makes you, you.
Do what you want to do without people dictating you. You are responsible for the decisions you wish for yourselves— that’s going to be you 10 years from now. Don’t let them tell you to be a Lionness when you wanted to be a Unicorn.
Stand Up For Yourself
I could still remember how dependent I was of people’s validation, appreciation and love. I feel like I always need to ask those things from other people.
But the truth is, you don’t need to do that. You don’t need the world’s attention on you. You don’t need anyone’s validation of how beautiful you are, or that your little white dress looks good on you, or that if you look good in a Teacher’s uniform.
You don’t need the world to shower you with love. You only need a few real ones.
I’m telling my old vulnerable self to learn to stand up for yourself and appreciate and love yourself first before anything else. It’s amazing when a girl learns to love herself first because she becomes indestructible.
But, It’s All Okay
But it’s all okay. At the end of the day one, thing is important, you are fighting. And that is enough.
It’s okay if sometimes you feel a little bit insecure. Sometimes a lot.
It’s okay if you want to hold on. But learn to know that there’s always time for letting go. Especially when things aren’t meant to be held.
It’s okay if sometimes you want the world to shut on you. Sometimes being sad is healthy, and it’s all that you need to make yourself feel better.