23 Years in a Nutshell: Series 10/23
If I were, to sum up the last 23 years, everything would be totally different. It has brought me a lot of realizations, it got me closer to myself, and it also allows me to be grateful despite every challenge, heartbreak, and downfall that seemed to be constant the last years.
So as I officially become twenty years older this 2021, I wanted to start acknowledging EVERYTHING that has helped me become who I am today. Starting with realizing that…
1. It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay
It’s vague to say that everything felt right when honestly, there were days where I feel like I’m stuck, I’m problematic, and that the world seemed to like throwing rocks at me. I realized that it’s okay to not feel okay and that I needed to feel these emotions so that I could be whole again, so I could stand up again, so I could be strong again. So I could manifest the right high energies for me.
And then lately, 2020 last year is totally a roller coaster of emotions. As I am writing this now, I still could not find the right words to describe how exactly 2020 turned out for me. But you know what, I figured…
2. I Don’t Have to Understand it ALL
It’s a normal reaction to be confused, to not know what you want, to not figure things out, to not have the answers you want immediately. In the last few years, I had plenty of self-doubts. I spent nights questioning myself and waiting for the gigantic sky to feed me with the answers I wanted to hear. It’s exhausting. The more I try to puzzle things out, the more I’m left circling in a never-ending spiral.
So I realized, life is too short to worry, so it led me to another realization that…
3. There Are Things I Don’t Have Control Of
I have been very in denial of this until 2020 hit like a hurricane— nobody saw it coming. Nor was there even a warning sign? Nothing.
And in the way I see it, we really don’t have control of these things. In retrospect, we don’t also have control of our emotions— how we sometimes feel enraged, confused, or how we withdraw our plans, how we aren’t able to finish school the way how we want it to be, or sometimes how we act differently when things are so complicated. It’s a human reaction, and it’s okay because we don’t have control over them. If everything didn’t work as planned, there’s always the right timing to do it.
Eventually, this leads me to another realization…
4. Everything has its Timing
I used to get everything that I want in one snap. In the last 23 years, I have had days where I would constantly wonder when I could possibly learn to drive, buy my dream laptop, travel alone. Or when could somebody turn out to be someone I have been longing for like a really long time, or when could I possibly find answers to all my WHYs. Believe me, I was impatient, and then I started getting so envious of other people. However, it doesn’t work that way. I realized that maybe what’s meant for me is just on its way now— perhaps it hasn’t just arrived on its timeline yet.
Now at 23, I look back at my old self and would always be grateful for everything that I have now, the things that I enjoy, and the people I am with. But you know what? It isn’t just timing itself…
5. Everything Takes Hard Work and Patience (too)
Ever wonder why you’re not getting the results you want? Maybe, because you weren’t putting so much hard work into it, and perhaps you get too impatient to wait too. We all have our own opinion of what it takes to be successful. I don’t see myself as successful too, but I always acknowledge that I am slowly growing to my goal every day, which is enough success already.
I firmly believe we can all agree that success truly takes hard work and patience. Alongside that, this also leads me to my subsequent realization…
6. To Always Celebrate Wins (no matter how little)
You know how I find happiness in life? It’s when I started to acknowledge the good in everything— I began to celebrate and recognize the things I have improved on, the things I accomplished (daily), even as little as sleeping for more than 8 hours today or getting up early for breakfast. It’s true when they say it’s the little that counts— and those are wins! Don’t be a little too harsh on yourself. Acknowledge how you are growing every single day.
Contrary to celebrating wins is to also…
7. Not to Be Restless (overwork)
My younger self would tell me, “go out, do all you want because you don’t have all the time in the world.” While it is still valid up to now, but my adult-workaholic-self would say different. I’d say, “you have all the time in the world, give yourself
little time ample time for rest too.”
8. Negative People Makes You Toxic
The biggest realization I had when I finally tick off negative people in my friendslist— they make you toxic. It’s true when they say choose your friends wisely because they’re going to affect your life, mindset, and way you handle most of your decisions. As a guilty social animal myself, I could say I had many acquaintances, but I always tend to keep my circle close.
Here’s a thing with toxic people, too— they make you feel terrible! It’s one of the reasons why I don’t ever want to be surrounded by people who bring out the worst in me. And now that we’ve talked about toxic, it’s also the same with my next realization about one unhealthy trait that most people (and me) are guilty of…
9. Social Media is Not a Ranting Page
I know how it feels, believe me, I have been there. When you have no outlet to burst your bubble, or you can’t directly say something to someone, you find it reasonable to publish it publicly on social media. (ME: CHECKS MY TWITTER TO SEE IF I’M STILL GUILTY OF THIS).
I used to say people will judge you anyway, so let them be, rant all you want. But let me tell you something that most people won’t tell you about— the more you rant on social media, the more you feed people with headlines to talk to. The more you validate people’s opinions and the more you have them conclude things about you.
I know social media is a free expression page, but should we also pay to be mindful of what we post?
Don’t get me wrong, I used to be that someone too. But then I realize how much information and stories I have been posting that my life slowly becomes an open book. And now, I just want people to see the parts that I wanna share, not all of the details, not even those that my subconscious mind would share.
10. Your Past Doesn’t Define You
And to top this 1st series blog, let me end with it by saying, “Your past doesn’t define you.” I’m sure many have regrets, mistakes, and moments we don’t want to go back to— believe, me I was like that too. But I did tell myself that I don’t want to spend the next years regretting that I should have done better; I want to forgive my old self and tell her that it’s okay, you are far better now is what is more important.
Your past may have been one reason for your present, but it will never be a definition of who you are as a person. Remember that!
That’s it! 10 realizations out of 23, I would love to share all my realizations in one page and one reading, but I wanted to keep this as short as possible for you guys. If you do love this blog or somehow relate to it, then leave your comments below and share with me some of the realizations you had, too— I’d love to hear them, and who knows? Maybe we have the same realizations too!
NOTE: this is a series post. Keep posted for the next blog post next week.